Enchantedd ;*
16 years younginn'
Oregon, Whadd it do?c;
This is me.
I want to know why the FUCK im living this fucking bullshit life! I fucking hate everything. And everyone. Im always Fucking angry
I pushed away all my friends I have no one. My anxiety has never been this bad, my depression has never been this intense, my pacience have never wore so thin. Death is on my mind every moment. Im doing horrible in school, I barely go. I have insomnia I never sleep. I don’t know what to do. I was never like this.. I was never so seriously fucked up. My parents keep asking what’s wrong with me but.I can’t tell them what happened. I can’t tell them I was raped almost a year ago. I can’t tell them Ive wanted.to die.every day since it happened. I distracted myself with my boyfriend for 5 months and since he left its gotten worse. I think about it everyday I dream of it every night. I hate this. Im still in love with my ex for some reason I don’t fucking know because he fucked me over. I don’t want to be with anyone else but him. The sweetest guys want to be with me but I can’t do it. No. Im Alexa fucking Moya. Im going to wait for the asshole to come back to me then give the good guys a chance. Im fed up. I’ve never been at this point of depression. Wrists are slit precisely vertical. Pill bottles and vodka ready. I can do it, I know I can do it if I wanted to..but..I haven’t made up my mind. I think I should. But my family. My friends. Omg my brothers. I can’t do it to them! No matter how much I want to die I stick it out for people who don’t really care, my dad hates everything I do. My mom can’t stand me. My brothers despise me. My friends. What friends? They’ve all left me. And dumb cunt bitches think.you hate your life? Just cuz some petty bullshit right? You weren’t raped. You weren’t left by the person you loved the most. You don’t live a bad life. So shut the fuck up you dumb bitch. Your going to read this I know you will because you stalk everything I Fucking do. You happy now? Makes you feel bad huh? Well fuckk you because I don’t want your pitty. I would.say choke. But I wont. I hope you live a happy life. A happy life has been my biggest dream since I was little. But hey, wishes don’t come true.
| Mom: | If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose? |
| Me: | A dull knife. |
| Dad: | Why a dull knife? |
| Me: | You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious. |
| Mom: | We've raised a potential serial killer. |
| Dad: | I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that. |
If my jokes offend you:
- I’m sorry
- It won’t happen again
- 1 & 2 are lies
- You’re a pussy
(Source: 69shadesofgray, via u-know-u-luvme)
My lame ass poetry /.\
I love you
so much you don’t have a clue
my eyes, full of tears
you have fulfilled all my fears
i don’t know how to stop the pain
i’m starting to go insane
the ache
of this horrid heartbreak
I need you
I really do
I don’t want to give this love up
even with the vodka in my cup
I still want you
no matter what you do
your my everything and more
from the outside to the core
your the only one on my mind
sanity i cannot find
just love me please
and put my heart at ease
make me smile
make it worthwhile
I love you Jacob
forever
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